WHY DO YOU HAVE SEX WITH HITLER IN YOUR LIBRARY?????

It's totally abnormally human of you to feel this way. I understand but the when you came onto that spider, you established dominance. That spider was there to lay eggs in that crumbled paper because it wanted to lay eggs in YOUR ♥♥♥. I am sure that spider went all necrophiliac on your dead sperms but that's totally cool. It was consensual. The world that spider was from is probably aware of this incident by now and they will probably try to seep in their weapons into your hairy testicles when you go to sleep tonight. They will again try to inject their eggs in your grey cheese factory and you can take advantage of this situation and hold the spider by its titties and shove it in your anus. Also, what a bad ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥ day to have eyes.

I am still shaking from a few minutes ago. I went to go do my normal jerk off routine this arvo and everything is going welll, not great, not good, but as expected . So when i jerk off i hsve some paper towel scraps that I geyser into, sometimes for multiple uses. I prefer paper towel because it is sort of a cross between a sock and toilet paper. Not too weak but not too strong and you can recycle it which i assume is good for the earth. So, i grab my used papertowel square and I infold it from the crusty clump it was, and I geyser straight into it without ever looking and guess what i guess a little jumping spider snuck into it and made a little ♥♥♥ cave house. I geysered right all over the poor bugger and Im sure it just ruined his whole day, i tried wiping the ♥♥♥ off it but it wouldnt stop jumping around so ♥♥♥♥ you ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥ i tried to save you and you wouldnt let me. Im so pissed and sad i feel like i want to vomit because I love spiders but i also love to ♥♥♥

Listen up here. I have a PhD in Sburbology(yes that's a real thing) and can construct 5 different Lil Cal theories that are completely accurate in 10 minutes, even if they contradict each other. I have read Homestuck for countless hours and have discovered every nook and cranny there is to it. I am also capable of confirming who the most powerful is but I honestly don't care about it. If you think you're a true fan then I am afraid that is not the case, you filthy degenerate.

Hey sorry, I hate to post this here but I tried to call you and I can't get a hold of you, and you didn't respond to my text. I found the information that you asked me about.... It's called pruritus anusitis, in other words itching anal - it's quite common and is not dangerous. It can happen if you don't wipe your ass properly. It can also be a sign of hemorrhoids in or near your ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥, I still recommend you keep that doctor appointment. Wash it and keep it really clean and also wash your hands before you scratch, that way you don't get pink eye like you did last time. If kept clean, the anal odor should be bearable although you may want to keep spray in your car. I hope my answer helped you.