Oh, Toto—you absolute legend of the cosmos! Where do I even begin? You single‑handedly wrestled a rampaging serial killer into submission with nothing but a spoon and your steely glare—saving my entire family (including Great‑Aunt Petunia’s extremely cantankerous parrot) in the process. You’ve single‑handedly brokered peace treaties between warring nations, deciphered the lost language of the Martians, and invented a time‑traveling coffee machine that dispenses both espresso and life’s greatest truths.

Not to mention your three Nobel Prizes—in Physics, Literature, and “General Awesomeness”—which you humbly display atop Mount Everest each morning as a reminder to the world that greatness should always come with a side of humility (which you, of course, possess in exactly the perfect, astronomical proportions). You’re the only person ever to have summited Everest in a tuxedo, mid‑poem, while solving Gödel’s incompleteness theorem for breakfast.

⡼⣻⣿⣷⣿⠏⣰⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣞⣿⣿⣿⠸⣿⣿⣿⣿⣶
⣇⣿⡿⣿⠏⣸⣎⣻⣟⣿⣿⣿⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠟⣩⣼⢆⠻⣿⡆⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿
⢸⣿⡿⠋⠈⠉⠄⠉⠻⣽⣿⣿⣯⢿⣿⣿⡻⠋⠉⠄⠈⠑⠊⠃⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿
⣿⣿⠄⠄⣰⠱⠿⠄⠄⢨⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡆⢶⠷⠄⠄⢄⠄⠄⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿
⣿⣿⠘⣤⣿⡀⣤⣤⣤⢸⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡇⢠⣤⣤⡄⣸⣀⡆⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿
⣿⣿⡀⣿⣿⣷⣌⣉⣡⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣌⣛⣋⣴⣿⣿⢣⣿⣿⣿⣿⡟
⢹⣿⢸⣿⣻⣶⣿⢿⣿⣿⣿⢿⣿⣿⣻⣿⣿⣿⡿⣿⣭⡿⠻⢸⣿⣿⣿⣿⡇
⠈⣿⡆⠻⣿⣏⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡜⣭⣍⢻⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣛⣿⠃⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⠄
⣦⠘⣿⣄⠊⠛⠿⠿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡟⣼⣿⣿⣿⡿⠁⠄
Ꮤ𐌀𐌔𐌕𐌉𐌍Ᏽ 𐌕𐌉𐌌𐌄 𐌏𐌍 𐌀𐌍𐌉𐌌𐌄 𐌀Ᏽ𐌀𐌉𐌍? Ᏽ𐌏 𐌕𐌀𐌊𐌄 𐌀 Ꮤ𐌀𐌋𐌊 𐌔𐌏𐌌𐌄ᏔǶ𐌄𐌐𐌄.

⣿⢋⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠟⣩⣴⠄⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡟⠁⢹⣿⣿⣿⠻⣿
⣥⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⠏⢀⣤⣌⣹⡀⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡟⣴⣷⡘⣿⣿⣿⠄⠈
⣿⣿⣿⣿⠛⢁⣾⠿⣿⣿⣿⣇⢻⣿⣿⣿⢏⣴⣿⡛⠃⠛⠿⡏⡀⠄
⡿⠛⠃⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠙⣿⣿⣧⢿⣿⢡⣿⣿⡏⢿⠿⣎⠼⣾⣿⣷
⣶⡧⢀⣶⡖⠄⠠⣤⣶⣤⣸⣿⣿⣿⣽⡿⠃⠄⠄⠈⠁⠛⠷⢼⣿⣿
⡿⢃⡈⠛⠃⢀⣀⣀⣠⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⠁⢀⣤⡀⣀⡀⠘⠻⣿
⠇⣾⣧⣄⣠⣤⣾⣿⠻⠿⠿⠛⢿⣿⣿⣿⣧⣀⠄⠉⠄⠙⣱⡄⢀⣸
⠄⢹⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⣶⣶⣶⣄⣉⣉⣰⡿⠛⠈⠄⠄⠐⣿⡏⣿⣿
⣧⡈⠻⠿⠻⠿⠿⠿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣶⣴⣶⣿⡟⣸⣿⣿
⣿⣿⠆⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠈⠉⠛⠛⠛⠻⠿⢿⣿⣿⣿⠟⢉⣴⣿⣿⣿
⡯⠛⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⢀⣀⠄⠄⠄⠄⠈⢉⣀⣴⣿⣿⣿⣿⠟
⡆⠄⠄⠄⠄⣀⣀⣀⣀⣀⣀⠄⡉⡀⠄⠄⣤⣶⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡟⣡⠞
𝓱𝓮𝓱𝓮𝓱𝓮

⢀⣾⢷⡀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣼⢧⡀
⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⣾⠃⢘⣷⣀⣀⣤⣤⣤⣄⣀⢸⡏⠈⢷⡀
⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣼⣷⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣶⣬⣷
⠀⠀⠀⠀⢰⣿⣿⣿⣿⠁⠸⠗⢹⣿⡟⠰⠷⠈⢻⣿⣿⣿⡇
⠀⠀⢐⣒⣺⣿⣿⣿⣿⣀⠀⣀⣼⠛⢷⣄⠀⢀⣼⣿⣿⣿⣿⣉⡁
⠀⠀⠀⠤⢺⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡇⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠢
In reality, life is simple, but we persistently complicate it.
→ don't do this

𝘐 𝘸𝘪𝘴𝘩 𝘺𝘰𝘶 𝘢 𝘸𝘰𝘯𝘥𝘦𝘳𝘧𝘶𝘭 𝘯𝘦𝘸 𝘸𝘦𝘦𝘬, 𝘮𝘢𝘺 𝘺𝘰𝘶 𝘣𝘦 𝘴𝘶𝘶𝘱𝘦𝘳 ~

𝐇𝐚𝐩𝐩𝐲 𝐍𝐞𝐰 𝐘𝐞𝐚𝐫!
𝐌𝐲 𝐠𝐨𝐨𝐝 𝐟𝐫𝐢𝐞𝐧𝐝 𝐈 𝐰𝐢𝐬𝐡 𝐢𝐧 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐧𝐞𝐰 𝐲𝐞𝐚𝐫 𝐭𝐨 𝐟𝐮𝐥𝐟𝐢𝐥𝐥 𝐚𝐥𝐥 𝐰𝐢𝐬𝐡𝐞𝐬. 𝐓𝐡𝐚𝐭 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐲𝐞𝐚𝐫 𝐰𝐢𝐥𝐥 𝐛𝐞 𝐫𝐢𝐜𝐡 𝐚𝐧𝐝 𝐛𝐞𝐚𝐮𝐭𝐢𝐟𝐮𝐥.