"Down the rabbit hole she went, her feet scarcely touching the ground as she tumbled through the swirling vortex of Wonderland. 'Curiouser and curiouser,' Alice murmured, her voice growing softer with each passing moment, the world around her shifting from vibrant colors to shades of twilight. She landed with a soft thud, her curiosity piqued by the peculiar sight before her—a group of playing cards fanned out in midair, suspended as if frozen in time.

‘What’s this?’ Alice gasped, staring wide-eyed at the scene. But before she could contemplate further, the Queen of Hearts appeared with a triumphant look in her eyes, a musket slung over her shoulder. ‘Own a musket for home defense,’ she declared in a regal voice, ‘since that’s what the Founding Fathers intended!’ Alice, though momentarily confused, was far too polite to argue, so she followed the Queen’s gaze as four ruffians burst into the room.

‘What the devil?’ Alice muttered under her breath as she scrambled to grab her powdered wig and Kentucky rifle. In one swift motion, she blew a golf ball-sized hole through the first man—he was dead on the spot. But her triumph was short-lived. Drawing her pistol, Alice took aim at the second man—missed entirely! The smoothbore pistol, intended for precision, only found the neighbor's dog, whose yelps echoed through the hall. Desperate, Alice turned to the cannon mounted at the top of the stairs and, with a dramatic shout of ‘Tally ho, lads!’ fired a blast of grape shot, sending two men flying into oblivion. The shockwave rattled car alarms for miles. The last ruffian stood trembling, but Alice was already in motion, fixing her bayonet and charging with the swiftness of a Cheshire Cat on a mission. Triangular bayonet wounds are, after all, quite impossible to stitch up. Just as the Founding Fathers intended."