If you own a $3,000 machine gun and a $5,000 rocket launcher, but you can't afford shoes, You may be a Muslim.
If you have more wives than teeth, You may be a Muslim.
If you wipe your butt with your bare hand but consider bacon to be unclean, You may be a Muslim.
If you think vests come in two styles: Bullet-proof and suicide. You may be a Muslim
If you can't think of anyone you haven't declared jihad against, You may be a Muslim.
If you consider television dangerous but routinely carry explosives in your clothing, You may be a Muslim.
If you were amazed to discover that cell phones have uses other than setting off roadside bombs, You may be a Muslim.
If you have nothing against women and think every man should own at least four, You may be a Muslim.
If you find this offensive and don't forward it, You may be a Muslim

This new steam update is pretty cool, glad you can leave voice recorded messages on people's profiles now!

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How. ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥. Dare. You. I got those novelty swords from SamuraiBuyer.com . They're made of pure venutian steel and blessed by the holy lord Bruce Lee himself. I spent 14 million USD bringing him back to the world of the living so he could bless me and all of my swords. And I know that Terry Crews will be there, because I'm the one who hired him, idiot. Any that check form my grandma was just her paying me back for all of the money spent on doctors completely eviscerating the cancer cells out of her body. It's not my fault that minions don't turn me on like they do to you, you sick freak. I went into that Kevin doll soft and with a helicopted propelling my shlong because minions are ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥ gross. I'm on my way over right now. Got a 8:00 flight over to your dumb ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥ country that makes me think of your mom when I'm not around for a while; Hungry. Seeya in a few hours, you penis toucher.