The president wakes up every morning, gets dressed, looks in the mirror at his scrotum-level tie length and says, "Perfect!" That will never not bother me

The top of my head is looking quite bare,
I used to have a mane of thick dark hair,
Now people just stand and stare,
In days long since passed,
A million follicles I had amassed,
But as I got older, they didn’t last,
I remember when I used shampoo,
I’d wash my hair through and through,
Never had the chance to dye it blue,
Slaphead and other names I have been called,
I grew it long right down to my shoulder,
Kept my ears warm when the weather got colder,
Sadly all gone now that I’ve grown older,
So when you start to look like a monk,
And your hair falls out by the chunk,
Feels like your hair has completely shrunk,
I used to have more hair on my comb then on my head,
Wish I could have grown it into a dread,
So here I am now with a naked dome all clean and shiny,
Mind you I don’t suffer with dandruff,
A quick was with soapy water that’s enough,
Then give it a polish and a buff!

⠀⠀⠀⢢⠑⠤⡑⢊⠻⣿⣿⣿⣿⣟⡫⢻⡟⠁⠟⣝⡳⠄⠀
⠀⠀⠈⠰⠊⠁⠈⠁⠃⡹⢟⠿⠿⡭⢂⠘⠿⠊⠘⠌⠵⡀⠀
⠀⠀⠀⠆⠀⣀⣀⣠⣀⣤⣊⣁⣲⣥⡄⣀⣀⣀⣀⡈⠀⠑⠀
⠀⣠⡦⠶⠶⠻⠿⠿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⣶⣶⡀
⣮⣷⣁⠀⢴⠀⠀⠀⠼⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠋⠁⠀⢠⠉⢛⣿⡇
⣿⣿⣿⣦⣢⣠⡤⣴⣷⣿⣻⣿⣿⣿⣷⢶⣤⡤⢘⢿⣿⣿⡇
⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠋⡉⠉⠙⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿
⢸⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⣤⢠⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡍
⠈⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⠁
⠀⠹⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠝⠿⠙⠻⠛⠛⠛⠟⠻⣿⣿⣿⣿⠃⠀⠀
⠀⠀⠈⠛⢿⣿⣿⣶⣶⣄⣖⣓⣚⣒⣴⣾⡾⠿⠋⠁⠀⠀⠀
⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⡤⢙⠻⡿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡏

⢕⢕⢕⢕⢕⠅⢗⢕⠕⣠⠄⣗⢕⢕⠕⢕⢕⢕⠕⢠⣿⠐⢕⢕⢕⠑⢕⢕⠵⢕
⢕⢕⢕⢕⠁⢜⠕⢁⣴⣿⡇⢓⢕⢵⢐⢕⢕⠕⢁⣾⢿⣧⠑⢕⢕⠄⢑⢕⠅⢕
⢕⢕⠵⢁⠔⢁⣤⣤⣶⣶⣶⡐⣕⢽⠐⢕⠕⣡⣾⣶⣶⣶⣤⡁⢓⢕⠄⢑⢅⢑
⠍⣧⠄⣶⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⣔⢕⢄⢡⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣦⡑⢕⢤⠱⢐
⢠⢕⠅⣾⣿⠋⢿⣿⣿⣿⠉⣿⣿⣷⣦⣶⣽⣿⣿⠈⣿⣿⣿⣿⠏⢹⣷⣷⡅⢐
⣔⢕⢥⢻⣿⡀⠈⠛⠛⠁⢠⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡀⠈⠛⠛⠁⠄⣼⣿⣿⡇⢔
⢕⢕⢽⢸⢟⢟⢖⢖⢤⣶⡟⢻⣿⡿⠻⣿⣿⡟⢀⣿⣦⢤⢤⢔⢞⢿⢿⣿⠁⢕
⢕⢕⠅⣐⢕⢕⢕⢕⢕⣿⣿⡄⠛⢀⣦⠈⠛⢁⣼⣿⢗⢕⢕⢕⢕⢕⢕⡏⣘⢕
⢕⢕⠅⢓⣕⣕⣕⣕⣵⣿⣿⣿⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⣕⢕⢕⢕⢕⡵⢀⢕⢕
⢑⢕⠃⡈⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⢃⢕⢕⢕

恭喜发财买卡尔博尼尬。

🟥🟥🟥🟥🟥🟥🟥🟥
🟥⬜️⬜️⬜️⬜️⬜️⬜️🟥⚪️
⬜️⬜️⬜️⬜️⬜️⬜️⬜️⬜️
⬜️⬛⬛🟩🟩⬛⬛⬜️
🟩⬛⬛🟩🟩⬛⬛🟩
🟩🟩🟩🟩🟩🟩🟩🟩
🟩🟩⬛🟩🟩⬛🟩🟩
🟩🟩⬛⬛⬛⬛🟩🟩
🟩🟩🟩🟩🟩🟩🟩🟩

⛄🎄 𝓜𝒆𝗿𝗿𝛄 𝓒𝒉𝗿𝖏𝙨𝙩𝒎𝝰𝙨 🎄⛄