Recent reviews by Robert Sloppenheimer

I love my coral wife

"what if genocide was the color orange?"

This game absolutely changed my life. I was a meth addict, spent all my money using, and frequently stole from my family to fuel my addiction. One day I decided to go to rehab and try to get my life back together. While I was at rehab, I saw one of the staff playing this game, and as I watched, it felt like God himself had put his hand on my shoulder and said "its going to be ok". From that moment on, I played this game whenever I could, and each day I could see the light more and more, until eventually I was no long using drugs and got a stable job.

I am now the CEO of Amazon, and have a wife and family. I owe it all to this game.

rip and tear

poggers

its ok

---{Graphics}---
☑ Is this real life?
☐ Beautiful
☐ Good
☐ Decent
☐ Bad
☐ Very bad
☐ Made in Microsoft Paint

---{Gameplay}---
☑ Very good (gunplay is extremely fun, the game is terrifying at times)
☐ Good
☐ Average
☐ Maybe someone would find it fun?
☐ Watching paint dry is more fun
☐ Just don‘t

---{Audio}---
☑ Very good
☐ Good
☐ Ok
☐ Bad
☐ Earrape

---{Audience}---
☐ Kids
☐ Teens
☐ Adults
☐ Weebs
☑ All of the above

---{PC Requirements}---
☐ Lowest possible specs could probably still run it
☐ Potato
☐ Decent
☐ Fast
☑ Rich people only (best played on an index)
☐ Requirements haven't been invented yet

---{Difficulty}---
☐ Don't need a brain
☑ Easy (some of the puzzles are hard, but are never impossible. I never found myself trying to solve a puzzle / maze / etc. for more than 5 minutes)
☐ Easy to learn / Hard to master
☐ Requires Big Brain time
☐ Dark Souls

---{Grinding}---
☑ Nothing to grind (the game is very linear, but there is tons of room for exploration)
☐ Only if u care about leaderboards/ranks
☐ Isn't necessary to progress
☐ Average grind level
☐ Too much grinding

---{Story}---
☐ There was a Story?
☐ Generic/Clique
☐ Average
☐ Good
☐ Amazing
☑ One to tell your grandchildren

---{Game Time}---
☐ Wait its already over?
☐ Short
☑ Medium Length (~15-20 hours to complete the entire story from what i've heard)
☐ Long
☐ To infinity and beyond

---{Price}---
☐ It’s free!
☐ Cheap as Chips
☑ Not as cheap but worth the price (absolutely worth $60)
☐ Wait until Steam Sale
☐ Only for Rich people

---{Bugs}---
☐ Can't find any
☑ Minor bugs (I can't recall any bugs from the top of my head, but there are some very tiny bugs)
☐ Can get annoying
☐ Any Bethesda game
☐ The game itself is one massive bug


---{Final Notes}---
- Reloading is done by reaching from your "backpack", unlike in Pavlov where the magazine is located at your side/hip

- I wouldn't call it a "horror" game, but the half life universe is much more terrifying in VR (seriously, ♥♥♥♥ headcrabs, i've been jumpscared by zombies and headcrabs so many times)

- This game lives up to all expectations of a VR half life game, exceeding them at most times

- The general VR interface takes a little time to get used to, but movement and many other aspects can be customized in settings

- There really is no other way to say it, but this game is absolutely stunning and incredible. I'm so glad valve decided to make this a VR only game, as it is truly an amazing experience

- (potential spoiler alert) THE ENDING TO THIS GAME IS ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥ POETIC AND IT MAKES THE 13 YEAR WAIT ABSOLUTELY WORTH IT. THANK YOU VALVE ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥

Thank you gaijin

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no matter how much time you've spent in this game, it never gets old to slice the ♥♥♥♥ out of your enemies with a lightsaber.
very linear story, gameplay is fun, replayablility is also good

I hate Destiny 2
It's my favorite game