Sir Chadwick the Retarded, gallops into view armor slightly askew, a turkey leg in one hand, and a scroll of Yelp reviews in the other. Known across the kingdom for his bravery, his booming laugh, and his inability to tell left from right in battle formations, Sir Chadwick once saved a village by accidentally jousting a dragon while aiming for the outhouse. He was christened with the title "the Retarded" after being convinced the only way to save his mother from a witch was to touch a goat like an Arab (stole its virginity.)