Statements dreamed up by the utterly deranged.

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…….…………………….¸„-^"¯ :\_ / o '"*'"¯/' BARK BARK
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:.:.:.:.:.:.:.:.:.:.: : : : : : : : : : ¸„-^¯
.::.:.:.:.:.:.:.:. : : : : : : : ¸„„-^¯ PUT THIS ON THE PROFILE OF 5 OTHER PEOPLE
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I marinated this Wagyu in fresh semen, and we're gonna dry age it

Starting with the semen, I squeeze my wife's belly after a day-long session of cuck ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥ by random payed strangers on the street of Michigan. After placing all that fresh sperm in a container, I let the Wagyu marinate in the sauce for 24 hours.

After that, I brush some of my semen and place the Wagyu in the dry ager.

While I wait, I eat some Max Jerky Buffalo chicken ™️. It's actually my favorite flavor and you can find it at maxjerky.com

9 month laters and 2 rushes to the maternity ward, I take out the Wagyu.

The consistency was firm and the smell was amazing. I give it a pinch of pepper (as seminal juices already has a high quantity of salt in it), and we place it in the smoker.

We are roasting over Apple wood, low and slow

After 30 minutes, the results are incredible. The taste is firm and still has that semen aftertaste.

10/10 definitely recommend it

HOT 🔥 Claudettes 👩🏾‍🦱 in YOUR AREA 🗺 are playing ⏯ DEAD BY DAYLIGHT! ☠️ Are YOU 👨🏻 hung 😏 like a HOOKED SURVIVOR 🎣 or is your ♥♥♥♥ 🍆 exhausted 🥵 from being DEAD HARD??? Share 🤝 with ONE friend 👩🏻 and NURSE 🏥 will click 🖱 your FLASHLIGHT 🔦 until your SPINE CHILL 🐈 activates. Share 🤝 with FIVE friends 👧🏻 and JANE ROMERO 💁🏻‍♀️ will suck 🌬 your SLIPPERY MEAT 🥩 in the KILLER SHACK 🏚 Share with TEN friends 👨‍👩‍👦‍👦 and get POUNDED 🔨 by a red rank SWF 👨‍👩‍👧‍👦 and covered in MURKY REAGENT 💦 Better HURRY 🏃🏻 and BLOW 🌬 another survivors GEN 💡 before ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥ 🐇 uses NOED 💀 (No One Escapes ♥♥♥♥ 🍆)!

I went on my first virtual date with this guy.

He got really flustered and embarrassed but it was really cute!🥰He was so sweet to me but he did this weird thing where he wouldn’t break eye contact with me while he was eating which was so embarrassing and weird! 😳 I kept trying to look away, pretending I was looking at something in my room, but when I turned back he kept staring straight into the camera which made me really uncomfortable and flustered!😖 So sus!

What really ruined the date though was when he wouldn’t shut the ♥♥♥♥ up about his diarrhea while we were eating!! 😡 So gross!!!🤢🤮

Hi uwu I saw your profile picture and I just really love cat girls, soo kawaii (っ◔◡◔)っ ❤ It’s really attractive knowing you are a guy who plays video games hehe! I don’t know why girl anime pictures make me so horny, must be a girl thing to be honest ʕ •ᴥ•ʔ


Anyways as a woman I wanna say I'm a really big feminist and would like to apologize for the way girls treat men in gaming (we call them girls cause real women dont do that) I would be happy to do the dishes and make the sandwich for any of my kings (╥﹏╥)

Do you play Valorant? It's something we call a FPS game and that's short for first person shooter. We should play it sometimes, I can simp for you and be your Sage (she's a healer). Hehe. Anyways I know I can't see your face but I bet you're pretty cute and hot =＾• ⋏ •＾=