For 82 years I have been an oil man, a ‘barren’ some have called me. Now what does an oil barren do? The answer…crush your enemies! Grind their bones into dirt! Make them regret that they were ever born! Oil is not for the weak. It is the Earth’s milk, and only the strong may suckle at Mother’s teat. One man came close to breaking me, H.R. Pickens. He did not succeed, for I crushed him into the ground! Oil has little to do with profit. For oil is about domination of the spirit.I was born seven months too early. Incubation technology was still in its infancy, so they placed me in a cast iron pot inside of a pizza oven until I was ripe enough to walk. My bones never hardened but my spirit did. Be strong and crush your enemies! Perhaps I wasn’t clear. Luckily, I brought a visual aid which will illuminate the ins and outs of the oil industry.This dead bird represents those who will wish you ill. Once proud, flying high above the Earth in bloody defiance of her gifts. And now you return her to Earth, naked and defeated. I killed you Mr. Pickens! I crushed you into the ground and now your bones turn to oil beneath my living feet! I married your granddaughter, filled her belly with my festering seed and sired a boy! He is my final revenge, H.R.!