If I had a hammer,
I'd build a house for two.
And if I had a sailing ship,
I'd take a trip with you.

And if I had a poet's hand,
I'd write a verse for thee.
And if I had the painter's touch,
On canvas you would be.

But I don't have a hammer,
And I don't have a ship,
So I can't build a house,
And we can't take a trip.

And I'll never be a poet,
Nor have the painter's grace,
So I'll never write your verse,
Nor immortalize your face.

And also, I have herpes.