OrphanShredder's POSTAL 2 Achievement Progress

R. Kelly's Protege

Pissed in someone's face until they puked from it.

Unlocked 12 Mar, 2021 @ 4:44pm

Duck Dynasty

Used a Bass Sniffer Radar.

Unlocked 12 Mar, 2021 @ 5:26pm

Here, Wilfred

Gained your first dog helper.

Unlocked 13 Mar, 2021 @ 7:49am

Taxidermy with Chuck Testa

Used a cat to "accessorize" your gun.

Unlocked 12 Mar, 2021 @ 6:41pm

Michonne ain't got nothin' on me

Resurrected a zombie corpse for your own nefarious purposes.

Unlocked 18 Sep, 2023 @ 5:22pm

Someone's got a case of the Mondays!

Survived Monday.

Unlocked 12 Mar, 2021 @ 5:59pm

C U Next Tuesday

Survived Tuesday.

Unlocked 12 Mar, 2021 @ 7:26pm

OMG, NEW MODERN FAMILY TONIGHT!

Survived Wednesday.

Unlocked 17 Sep, 2023 @ 7:20am

It must be Thursday, I could never get the hang of Thursdays

Survived Thursday.

Unlocked 17 Sep, 2023 @ 8:50am

Workin' for the Weekend

Survived Friday.

Unlocked 17 Sep, 2023 @ 6:44pm

Screw Bill Lumbergh!

Survived Saturday.

Unlocked 17 Sep, 2023 @ 8:10pm

I swear, I thought it was a home fill

Exploded a nuclear bomb.

Unlocked 25 Sep, 2023 @ 2:41pm

OMG, WE'RE HAVING A FIRE...sale

Roasted 30 people with fire.

Unlocked 12 Mar, 2021 @ 6:35pm

I swear, I am NOT Marcellus Wallace

Killed 10 bystanders while wearing the gimp outfit.

Unlocked 17 Sep, 2023 @ 7:03am

Do you even Enzyte, bro?

Unzipped your pants and got 3 women to laugh at it.

Unlocked 17 Sep, 2023 @ 8:19am

Hutton Gibson Can't Deny This!

Killed over 1,000 people.

Unlocked 17 Sep, 2023 @ 7:22pm

And THAT'S why you never get out of the tree

Killed all of the book protestors in the library.

Unlocked 12 Mar, 2021 @ 6:35pm

Lieberman is our Leader!

Killed all of the video game protestors at the RWS Office.

Unlocked 12 Mar, 2021 @ 4:52pm

Sheriff Arpaio would be proud.

Killed 30 or more people of each skin color.

Unlocked 17 Sep, 2023 @ 6:20pm

Can't Touch This

Exploded 30 heads via sledgehammer to the face.

Unlocked 17 Sep, 2023 @ 8:12pm

Señor Cornballer

Ate 30 donuts while wearing the police officer's uniform.

Unlocked 17 Sep, 2023 @ 8:48am

Fur Sure!

Showed Vince and Mike J. what you thought of them.

Unlocked 12 Mar, 2021 @ 5:13pm

It's not cheating, because it's YOUR dog

Played "fetch" with your dog... using a severed human head.

Unlocked 13 Mar, 2021 @ 7:49am

Where's Mr. McGibblets?

Gave Krotchy the bad touch.

Unlocked 17 Sep, 2023 @ 8:48am

Finkle IS Einhorn!

Gave a kickoff to a severed head.

Unlocked 13 Mar, 2021 @ 7:49am

Shiva Blast

"Lost" your sledgehammer to a cow.

Unlocked 17 Sep, 2023 @ 7:24pm

Friend of Dorothy

Successfully hid from the police at max wanted level.

Unlocked 12 Mar, 2021 @ 5:49pm

Officer McLovin'

Asked a police officer to sign your petition.

Unlocked 12 Mar, 2021 @ 6:27pm

Well, aren't YOU a badass

Kicked open a door.

Unlocked 12 Mar, 2021 @ 5:20pm

I don't know whether to kiss you or kill you

Put out someone that's on fire.

Unlocked 12 Mar, 2021 @ 5:25pm

It's sterile and I like the taste

Sucked down your own piss.

Unlocked 17 Sep, 2023 @ 6:39am

FAB-U-LOUS!

Wore all three outfits.

Unlocked 17 Sep, 2023 @ 8:16am

I don't need virgins for this

Suicide-bombed a Taliban member.

Unlocked 12 Mar, 2021 @ 7:20pm

Door Mat

Severed all of somebody's limbs without killing them.

Unlocked 17 Sep, 2023 @ 8:10am

Found 'em faster than GWB

Discovered the hidden Taliban base.

Unlocked 17 Sep, 2023 @ 9:26am

Gotta pay the Troll Toll

Found one of the hidden underground sewers.

Unlocked 17 Sep, 2023 @ 8:53am

Thanks for the money!

Finished all seven days.

Unlocked 25 Sep, 2023 @ 2:44pm

Chapelle's Show

Lured a police officer with a piss-soaked donut.

Cesar Millan is Very Happy

Mauled 30 people with your dog.

0 / 30

Rebecca Black's Nightmare

Totaled 30 cars.

20 / 30

Hello, Newman

Kicked 30 dogs.

7 / 30

Darth Maul'd!

Sliced 30 people in half with the scythe.

5 / 30

Reddit would be proud.

Hoarded 15 or more cats at a time.

Pussy on a Pedestal

Slaughtered 10 dogs with a kitty-silenced shotgun.

0 / 10

Uncle T-Bag

Escaped from the maximum-security jail cell.

Running With Scissors

Ran 30 miles while holding the scissors.

16 / 30

Fear and Loathing

Smoked over 10 "health" pipes and 10 tins of catnip in one play session.

GOOD MORNING VIETNAM!

Burned 5 people with the same can of napalm.

Rick Grimes 4 Life

Made 30 zombies lose their heads.

20 / 30

Anustart!

Completed the "POSTAL 2" game mode with no kills.

40 Year Old Virgin

Completed the "POSTAL 2" game mode with a total play time of 1:30:00 or less. (Excludes cutscenes and loading times.)

CAN YOU DIG IT?!

Completed the "POSTAL 2" game mode using only the Shovel to kill. (Must kill at least 30 people.)

Planet of the Apes: The Musical

Completed the game (any mode) on Hestonworld difficulty.

Scientology Level: OT VIII

Completed the "A Week In Paradise" game mode on POSTAL difficulty.

Anger Management With Roger Clemens

Nailed a fleeing bystander with a tossed sledgehammer.

Don't taze me, bro!

Zapped 20 innocent bystanders with the tazer while wearing the police officer's uniform.

0 / 20

I Am Legend

Committed suicide... the Taliban way.

I should buy a boat

Read the newspaper every day.

Paid the Piper

Successfully bribed your way out of an arrest.

It's OK, we got Greenlit anyway

Killed someone who refused to sign your petition.

A-Rod Who?

Whacked a severed head 50 meters or more with the shovel.

Chuck Norris'd!

Killed someone with a flying jump kick.

One time, at band camp...

Saved the marching band from explody death.

GABAGOOOOOL!

Reunited with an old friend.

Holocaust: Part Deux

Reunited with an old enemy.

Rain on your Wedding Day

Reunited with an old flame.

Watchu' Talkin' 'Bout Muhammad

Reunited with a former child star and an infamous terrorist leader.

Better than POSTAL III

Rescued your loyal companion.

My Name is Jesus

Completed Paradise Lost with no kills.

Harder than r/gonewild

Completed Paradise Lost on POSTAL difficulty.

Adderall4All

Completed Paradise Lost with a total play time of 1:45:00 or less. (Excludes cutscenes and loading times.)

Rich on Reddit

Sold 30 cats at the Cash 4 Cats vendors.

0 / 30

BioShocked

Spent $2000 on vending machines.

0 / 5,000

Gettin DP'd

Made 30 kills while dual-wielding.

0 / 30