WEIRD PARTIES
WILD ORGIES
STINKY FINGERS

Ken ranted on as Tommy glanced at the picture of Mercedes. He dare not tell anyone what he really desired out of life. Not even to his trusted lawyer. It was the kind of thing he felt only that one special person would ever give to him. No amount of deals would ever fulfill the void within him. That void yearning for something more than money could ever buy.

Tommy looked down at his watch, then rubbed his hand over his face. Ken was still going on as Tommy stood up and walked out of the office.

“Tommy? Where – ?”

“Go over and get Ms. Ramirez. I'll be waiting out back.”

Ken obliged and headed his way over to the Printworks.

Natalia heard screeching out front of the building. Getting up from her nearly completed work, she looked out of a window. A man in a light purple suit stepped out of a white Admiral. Her face dropped when she had saw he had smashed into the side of her car. She flew out of the office and down the hall and down the stairs to confront this man.

“Ah, Mr. Carrington. Always nice to see you.” He shook the old man's hand. “Is the new girl – ”

“How dare you?!” Natalia screamed at Ken. “You hit my car! And think nothing of it! I outta beat your ass – ”

Ken dodged out of the way of her swing. Mr. Carrington had grabbed her up by the waist, pulling her away from Ken.

“Settle down now, Natalia,” he said. “I'm sure we can get it fixed.”

Natalia placed her hand on her forehead and paced back and forth. With what money? she thought. I've just barely made it here.

Ken had readjusted himself, wiping the sweat that had formed off his face. “Feisty little one, ain't she?” He cowered once more when he saw her glare at him. “Hey, hey, Ms. Ramirez. Come with me. Tommy wants to speak with you.”

“Who is Tommy? And what does he want? I'm still working.”

“Tommy,” Mr. Carrington started, “is our boss. The man of it all.” He went up to Natalia and placed his hands on her shoulders, just barely reaching with his short stature. “I believe he wants to speak business with you. Seeing the good job you've done here, I would not be so surprised if he asked for you to work with him side by side.”

Her face seemed to lift of worries. A promotion? On the first day? Mr. Carrington had let his arms back down, hooking his arm into Natalia's. He then faced Ken with a stern look.

“Listen here, you. You make sure this girl is well taken care of while in your hands. If I find out that she received one tiny scratch while with you, I'll run you through these machines,” the old man spat out at Ken.

Ken jumped back some, then proceeded on outside to his car, mumbling something. Natalia mouthed 'Thank you' to Mr. Carrington, and followed Ken to the car.

Chapter Two: New Employment

Natalia woke up bright and early the next morning. After taking a shower and applying her makeup to perfection, she twisted her hair up in a simple bun, and went off to the kitchen. Looking over her appointments that were sitting on the counter, she quickly scanned over her day.

“Finally settled in, and there's not much to do today.” She placed her papers in a bag and went out to her car. It took a few minutes for it to start, and she sighed hopelessly as she attempted to turn the engine one last time. To her relief, it started, and she was off to the Printworks.

She parked her car, and approached the dingy yellow building. Entering a side door, she was greeted by men in white pants and blue Island print shirts.

“Who're you?” one of the men asked.

“Natalia Ramirez. I came for the job interview.”

“Hey! Back away! Don't scare her!”

Natalia saw an old man in a brown work suit, rushing their way. He waved an old cane in the men's face. “Go on, get outta here! And don't let me tell Tommy!”

Tommy? Natalia thought to herself. No, it couldn't be... Not him. It couldn't have been the man she thought of.

“Now,” the old man turned towards her. “You've come for the job?”

“Yes, I was scheduled for an interview?”

“Ah,” he waved, “don't mind. You're hired. Mr. Vercetti has already asked for your presence at his estate.” He lead her over to an office in which papers were strewn about over multiple desks. “As soon as you finish cleaning up this mess here,” he chuckled. Natalia could see is worn face crease with wrinkles as he smiled. She couldn't help but let out a small laugh herself.

“My, my, my... This is a mess indeed.” She stepped over to the biggest desk, and started to stack papers neatly. “I might need a thing or two to get me started.”

“Anything you need, at your command.” The old man disappeared into the hallway for a moment, then came back with 3 of the men in blue Island print shirts. “These goof balls are at your beck and call. Anything, you hear me, anything! Just tell them, and they shall receive.” He walked up closer to her. “And anything else that they can't do, just call on me, and I'll be here in a flash.”

He smiled heartily at her, and she returned the same warm smile. After he had left out the door, she plopped down in the grand chair after sliding off her suit's jacket, and carried on with her work.

“Mr. Rosenberg,” a man in dark blue jeans and a white ribbed shirt stated flatly as he stepped into Tommy's office. Tommy lifted his head to see his lawyer strut into his office.

“Tommy, everything seems to be back in order.” Ken wiped his nose on his sleeve.

Tommy sighed, and closed the folder he was looking through. “Take a break from that stuff, will ya?” he said as Ken sat down in a chair in front of Tommy's desk. “Anyway, I've looked into hiring a secretary. She's at the Printworks now with Mr. Carrington. I've requested she come here immediately after completely her tasks there.”

Ken looked at the papers on Tommy's desk. His eyes wondered to a picture of Mercedes that was placed in the corner of the desk.

“She? Don't you think Mercedes will be disappointed?” he asked.

“Why would she be?”

“Hey, I'm just saying, I thought there was a little something going on between you two.”

“Well, there's not,” Tommy said, leaning back in his chair. “Me and Mercedes are just good friends. Nothing more, nothing less. I wouldn't want to complicate things.” He looked out of the bay window out to the docks. “Besides, she doesn't want what I want in life.”

“What do you mean?” Ken asked, not so much concerned as he really sounded.

“I mean, she's just...” He paused and turned back to face Ken. “Just so wild. Not saying it's a bad thing, but I always thought I'd have something more.”

“Oh, Tommy. Don't tell me you've gone soft on me here.”

Tommy Vercetti owns all of Vice City. Getting all of his businesses back in properly running order, he meets with a new employee, and gets a little more than what he expected.

Natalia Ramirez moves from the big city in hopes of starting a fresh, new, simple life. What she gets is something a little than she bargained for.

Chapter One: The End of the Beginning

Tommy sat at the bottom of the stairs, gun in hand. The last of the battle was over. He had killed Forelli. Sonny, his mentor, his livelihood, his way in, and his way out... dead. Tommy raised his gun once more at the sound of a moving body.

“Tommy?”

Tommy's reflexes relaxed as he saw his nervous, bumbling lawyer stand up and shuffle over towards him.

“Oh my God, Tommy! What happened?”

“What does it look like?”

“It looks like you ruined your suit! And Tommy, that was a beautiful suit! Tommy, what on Earth happened?”

Tommy waved his hand up. “I had a disagreement with a business associate.” He moved a hand upward to his lawyer. “You know how it is.”

“Tommy, I have a disagreement, I send them an angry letter. Maybe I pee in their mailbox,” he added casually. “I don't start World War III.” He paced between the front door and Tommy. “You know, maybe you should speak to my shrink.”

“That stupid prick Lance,” Tommy said absentmindedly.

“Tommy, I never liked that guy, okay?” the lawyer agreed. “He's neurotic, he's insecure, he's self-centered – the guy's an ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥! I'm glad you took him out!”

Tommy shook himself out of the disbelief of betrayal.

“I don't think we're going to be getting anymore heat from up North either...” Tommy stood, his body sore from the brutal battle. “... 'cause there ain't no 'Up North' anymore.” He made a slicing motion with his hand to his throat. “It's all down south now.”

“Wait,” the lawyer said, thinking deeply. “Does that mean what I think it means?” His face brightened when he saw Tommy nod. “Tommy, baby!” he exclaimed excitedly.

“What do you think it means?” Tommy asked, slinging his gun over his shoulder and walking towards the door.

“That we're in charge... I mean, that you're in charge,” he corrected after seeing the face Tommy shot his way. “Oh, Tommy!”

“You know, Ken,” he said, swinging his arm over his happy lawyer's shoulders. “I think this could be the beginning of a beautiful business relationship... After all, you're a conniving, backstabbing, two-bit thief, and I'm a convicted, psychotic killer and drug dealer.”

“I know. Ain't it just beautiful?”

The two walked outside of the Vercetti Mansion, nodding their heads at each other.

“First things first, though,” Tommy said, walking his lawyer over to his white Admiral. “We need to get everything back in running order. Go to your office and sort everything out. Be back here by nine tomorrow morning.”

With Ken now out his hair for a bit, Tommy stepped into his own car, and proceeded to go to his printing press. When he arrived, he was greeted by his long time family friend.

“Mr. Vercetti, the secretary spot was applied for by some girl.”

“What girl?” Tommy inquired, as he shuffled through the seemingly endless papers on the office desk.

“By a Miss Natalia Ramirez.”

Tommy's hand landed on her file, and he picked it up, looking over her documents. “Huh, worked as a secretary at the Liberty City University? Interesting.” He set her file down, and looked over to the old man. “Well, Mr. Carrington, as soon as she straightens out this mess,” he said waving his arms over the piles of papers, “send her over to the estate. I'd like to see what she can really do.”

The old man nodded, and went about to clean the old machines.

ARE YOU JENKED?