unfortunate to hear about the racism problem you've encountered. fuck those people. was probably a mistake to call ourselves the pc master race .
that being said, not sure there's much you can do about the problems you listed.
>games are too big
there's really nothing you can do about this since you can't run a compressed game. it's up to the devs to optimize their shit and crunch it down into a manageable size, which unfortunately seems to be low on the exec's priority list.
>load times are unusually long
again, nothing you can really do on your end besides upgrade hardware. part of the whole way the games industry's caring less about optimization since consumers have proven themselves to just pick up the slack by buying expensive hardware.
>can't get 10fps on minimum settings
a lot of games do have config (usually .ini) files which may have more options than the in-game settings screen. there might be ways you can crank the graphics way down, but it's entirely dependent on developer discretion. if you're getting 10fps it probably won't help much. you mentioned having an rtx 2070: that's most likely not your problem. if your cpu or ram are underpowered, that may be where the problem lies.
maybe you can try to diagnose if something is wrong with your pc. for instance, you can install coretemp[www.alcpu.com] to monitor your cpu's temperature or use geforce experience to do the same for your gpu. if you're running into severe issues with games that are well under the requirements, it could be that a fan broke and your system's overheating. then again, i don't consider that a likely outcome. just throwing it out there because that happened with my cpu fan and i had to go out and buy a new one.
if nothing is wrong there, i'd check task manager to make sure a component didn't die on you. if nothing's wrong there, you might have picked up a virus somewhere. i'd just run a windows defender scan.
really, my personal solution is to just stick with older titles. that's its own can of worms with compatibility issues, but more often than not there's already established workarounds. plus, i tend to get more out of them than modern AAA releases.