Arson Committee - meets on Mondays
Assault Committee - meets on Tuesdays
Mischief Committee - meets on Wednesdays
Misinformation Committee - meets on Thursdays


REMEMBER: You're not your job. You're not how much money you have in the bank. You're not the car you drive. You're not the contents of your wallet. You're not your fucking khakis. You're the all-singing, all-dancing crap of the world.

You are not special. You are not a beautiful or unique snowflake. You're the same decaying organic matter as everything else. Sticking feathers up your butt does not make you a chicken.

You have to consider the possibility that God does not like you. He never wanted you. In all probability, he hates you. This is not the worst thing that can happen. It could be worse. A woman could cut off your penis while you're sleeping and toss it out the window of a moving car. Without pain, without sacrifice, we would have nothing. Like the first monkey shot into. space. Forget about what you think you know about life, about friendship.

I'll bring us through this. As always. I'll carry you - kicking and screaming - and in the end you'll thank me.