I love eating out ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥.

Literally, I'm referring to the man's most precious posterior pucker, and not figuratively to his piss-poor personality trait.

For those of you who get an instant hard-on at the thought of me sucking on your starfish, I should note that I'm not into licking just any person's anus. It's got to be attached to a guy I like, who has recently showered and smells like there's a bar of Irish Spring soap up his ass.

1. Clean out your ass. It is important to shower before getting your can canoodled. Stick a wet finger into your anus to eliminate fecal remnants from your pucker, or you can use an enema for a thorough rectal rinsing.

2. Shave that butt hole. Even if you think you don't have any hair back there, trust me there's the one stray that got away. Having a smooth posterior heightens your sphincter's sensitivity to touch.

3. Use a dental dam. It's important to have a protective layer between the anus and mouth so as not to spread infection, intestinal parasites, bacteria, viruses or diseases from one orifice to another. You can improvise by using an un-lubricated condom, latex glove or even plastic wrap cut into large squares.

4. Do not double dip. Don't ever put anything that's been in a behind into (or too close to) a vagina without sterilizing it. You can transfer dangerous bacteria and micro-organisms that can cause infections such as vaginitis and cystitis.

5. Rinse your mouth. If you didn't use oral protection, make sure you swish with mouthwash or antiseptic afterwards to sanitize the area. Plus, no one wants ass-breath.

Tips for the Giver

1. Use your breath. Blow warm air onto the anus and the skin surrounding it, or just hover above and breathe against it.

2. Use your tongue. Lay it flat to lick, flick, rub and push against the general backside region, or you can make it stiff and hard to penetrate, probe, tap and trace the anal rim.

3. Use your lips. Kiss and suck the ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥, taint, inner thighs, crack of the ass, buttocks, lower back and the back of the legs.

4. Use your fingers and hands. Probe the rectum and pull apart the butt cheeks. You also can reach around from behind and fondle the front genitals.

5. Use your teeth. As long as you are only doing little nibbles or gentle love bites -- not hard chomps.

6. Use your toys. Butt plugs, dildos and ♥♥♥♥♥ can be inserted in the rectum to help stimulate the male prostate and intensify female pelvic orgasms.