Game Cucumbers - Welcome to the Force!

Hi there, I'm Colonel Crumpet. I was recruited only two years back, but mader it to Colonel pretty ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥ quickly. Alongside, Corporal Chicken joined the Cucumbers, but he was slow, weak, and slow, so he did not make it to such a high rank like me.
Why did I join such a ♥♥♥♥ force when I could be out serving my country? Well, let's just get this out of the way, I have no country. I was born mid-air while my spaceship was entering the atmosphere. This had somewhat strange side effects on things like my growth and my fetishes, but nontheless, I am a happy individual.

Corporal Chicken's story is a little different. He was not born while entering the atmosphere of Earth- he was born entering the atmosphere of Uranus, hence why we all call him an ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥.

But, our army was recently attacked by some lesbian midget people dressed as Colonel Sanders and everything was taken, so here we all are, using computers that have specs higher than what we need, typing on keyboards that we paid more for than we spent on our education.

This is the Game Cucumbers. Over and out.