The Blessed Knights of the Holy Guild of Geese was founded in a small monastery/nightclub combo venue in Burmingham, England, in 1419 AD. By the following year, the fledgling organisation had spread its wings to mainland Europe and was granted supreme religious authority over the universe by papal decree in 1421, a decision eagerly welcomed by every nation except Bulgaria.

The Bulgarians continued to resist the authority of the Guild, and the situation deteriorated drastically in 1435, when Bulgaria launched a war on three fronts, marching troops into Bangladesh, Belgium and Brazil, as they were upset that they did not come first in an alphabetical list of B countries. With the financial backing of the Guild, Belgium was finally able to defeat the Bulgarian forces by detonating several small nuclear bombs, which were imported from Nepal across the silk road at great expense.

Although the Bulgarian war machine was dismantled, resentment lingered on both sides, and Pope Goosus II spent the remainder of his years trying to foster a lasting peace on the continent, offering generous financial aid in return for Bulgaria's co-operation in science, the arts, and space exploration. Alas, these efforts were in vain; the Bulgarians remained hostile, and he died from complications of rectal perforation in 1440, aged 13.

Following these unfortunate events, a sinister plot was hatched to seize control of the Papacy, lead by Cardinal Osama bin Llaman, a recent immigrant from the Moon. Through duplicitous schemery and cunning treachery, he procured the support of a slim majority of cardinals and was elected (Anti)Pope Llamus I. After culling those who did not vote for him, he began an unprecedented crackdown on the pro-Goose movement, denouncing his predecessor as a heretic and the Holy Guild as a terrorist organisation.

Most every knight who had once been loyal to the Guild was killed or deserted to the enemy, with the exception of 69 disciples, who retreated underground to ponder, consider, contemplate, ruminate, evaluate and mull over the situation. After several decades, it was decided that something must be done, but it soon became apparant that Llaman power had been cemented, and the Goosus dynasty was almost extinct. In this dire circumstance, the disciples were forced to break their vows of chastity, and engaged in several weeks of tireless and passionate lovemaking before realising that a female specimen was required.

After several awkward dinner dates and unreturned phone calls, humans were deemed unsuitable, so an unsuspecting duckling was kidnapped and brought to the Guild's secret lair beneath Trump Tower. The sordid details of the resulting gangbang are the subject of much speculation and several documentary films. Regardless of the exact process, 9 months later a baby was born, not quite human and not quite duck, a new species which was named after the Goosus dynasty. Around the same time Llamas appear in the fossil record.

For over 500 years, the offspring of our progenitor, lovingly referred to as Mother Goose, have kept the Guild alive and waited patiently for the moment to strike back. Generation by generation, we have perfected the arts and crafts of war, subterfuge, conspiracy, and ornate pottery. Finally, in 2014, our operation to seize back control began with the foundation of the Socialist Australian Nationalist Democratic New Independent Geese Guild Entity/Republican Society (S.A.N.D.N.I.G.G.E.R.S). This is just the first of many regional terror cells tasked with undermining global Llama authority.

As we approach our third year of guerilla warfare, our confidence in victory is greater than ever. Our quest? The destruction of all Llamas and their evil kin. Our cause? The freedom and prosperity of the Goose race. Together we stand. Together we fight. Together, we will triumph.

--- TREATY SUSPENDED ---

IN THE NAME OF HIS GLORIOUS MAJESTY Goosus VI, by the Grace of Mother Goose, Caesar Augustus Avianus, Imperator Goosanum, Supreme Lord of The Goosiverse, High King of The Goslings, Conqueror and Master of All Goosekind

In Receipt of The Goose Community's treaty proposal, summarised thus:

The United Coalition of Geese (UCG) is an idea to unite Geese nations with similar ideals.
Here are the terms of the UCG:

All Geese in the UCG are to be peaceful with eachother and are not to engage in religious or militaristic fights or wars.

All religions in the two main nations are to be respected, and all geese have the right to believe in their own form of these two, however they will be taxed for not following one of the two main religions.

Both Geese civilizations work together and help eachother in their problems, even if it only affects one (such as the llamma threat).

All geese in the UCG are to be respected with the same rights and dignity no matter the religion or nation.

New nations can be added to the Coalition if all nations agree.

New rules may be added if the UCG agrees however these rules cannot be removed or changed by any one nation.

The Surpreme Council of The Blessed Knights of The Holy Guild of Geese (Goose Guild), acting in their capacity as true prophets of the Way of the Goose™, in light of recent negotiations, do with true and unwavering faith sincerely declare the hostilities between our nations, and the greivances that have thereby arisen, to be terminated and anulled. Effective immediately, The Guild solemnly affirms its membership of, and allegiance to, the United Coalition of Geese (UCG), according to the principles outlined above.

This declaration is made in the spirit of peace and reconciliation between all righteous Geese, and the utter annihilation of all heretics who would dare challenge the one true faith. Though our nations differ considerably in the interpretation and actioning of certain passages of the Goose Bible, our similarities are greater still. Our shared will is the uncompromising destruction of every last vestige of heathen barbarianism, beginning with the total annihilation of the depraved and diabolical Llama Guild. We trust that by entering into this pact, the Goose Community will share the burden of our continual warfare and assist us in reverting the Llamas' recent gains on the battlefield.

Should such assistance not be forthcoming the Supreme Council reserves the right to nullify this document unilaterally, with a notice period of 48 hours.

Authorized by Guildmaster Harper & Deputy Odin
Witnessed by Overlord Goose

--- TREATY SUSPENDED ---

In his weekly televised sermon the Supreme Goose has repeatedly raised the issue of discrimination against Geese in the film industry. We are pleased to report that prominent film critic P.K. Rosenthal, who recently became a patron of the Goose Counter Defamation League (GCDL), has brought the scandal to the attention of the general public.

His stark findings clearly expose for all to see the decades-long exploitation and vilification of Geesekind in cinema. Astonishingly, the conspiracy against avian rights dates back to Alfred Hitchcock's The Birds, and possibly even earlier. Our voices can no longer be silenced; soon we will enter a golden age of Geese cinema, and have our revenge against the human scum (patrons of the GCDL excepted)

Kindly share these short documentary films about the abuses, and FIGHT THE POWER.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zX8Lm4t_zJI https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WejOLgRbLB0

The High Council of Geese was briefed earlier today on the founding of a competitor guild, which does not follow the way of the Goose, but instead worships bears - a known ally of the Llama foe.

The council unanimously agreed that the only righteous response to the bear heresy would be military in nature. As such, the holy Goose Guild is in a state of total war against the evil Bear Guild, effective immediately.

All non-conscripted Geese should report to their local recruitment offices within 48 hours. Blessings of Mother Goose upon ye all.

BEGIN TRANSMISSION
*** FOR IMMEDIATE DISPATCH -- UNITED GOOSES SECURITY COUNCIL ***

WANTED
REWARD OF UP TO 15 MILLION GOOSE PESOS FOR INFORMATION LEADING TO THE CAPTURE OR DEATH OF OSAMA BIN LLAMAN, CONVICTED IN ABSENTIA OF PROPAGATING HERESY AND LEADING AN ILLEGAL TERRORIST GROUP KNOWN AS "AL LLAMA". LAST SIGHTED IN LLAMISTAN. "OBL" IS LLARMED AND HIGHLY DANGEROUS.

MUGSHOT
https://pbs.twimg.com/profile_images/269279233/llama270977_smiling_llama_400x400.jpg
END TRANSMISSION