Cooperfield

'Ello, Quandale Dingle here. I was caught running thy oppositions pockets in the streets of London. My grandfather, Henry Arthur Ezikenuts, was apprehended in a matter of minutes after trying to rob a Fish & Chips shop. My aquaintance Henry Bartholomew Dinglenuts was spotted giving his father's lemonade hose twisty whisties. I forgot to dispose of my feces, and made a big whoopsy in my diapy-whipy.