The Church of the Holy Joystick

The announcement button helps the leader of a cult, sometimes referred to as "group", irritate the victims, or "members" with inane text. If used properly, this button can make everyone in your "group" leave simultaneously.

If you would like to leave the group, press "A".

If you are having trouble finding "A", feel free to continue to look for it until you find it.

Leaving the group entitles the cult leader to certain legal rights, as well as multiple consequences, as detailed below:

1.) Full ownership of everything you possess, including wives, siblings, or even cousins. These rights of ownership include all legal rights. Restrictions do not apply.

2.) An entrance into a contest for a cash prize of $10,000, hereupon referred to properly as a "lie".

3.) A message indicating you have left the group. You may not see the message. Disregard the message if you do not see it.

4.) $14, garnished from your paycheck, then placed back on your paycheck. If you notice the $14 missing, there may have been an "administrative fee". Please contact someone if that happens. Walgreens is probably open, ask for a manager.

5.) Possibly a fifth legal right that I want. Like if I remember that I also wanted to kick you in the face. In fact, I reserve all face kicking rights.

6.) Revokation of your second amendment rights, as people who leave the group are clearly liberal bleeding heart pansies sent from MSNBC to begin communist uprisings and spread liberal propaganda. You hate guns, freedom, and America.

These rights may be changed, altered, or added to as much as I want.

If you have any questions, refer to your local guild master, and if confused by the term, refer to your mother.