Welcome. Why don't you have a seat, and introduce yourself?

Are you having trouble living with with your unhealthy obsession over a good plot? A plump flank?

No? Well, your friends are tired of living with that side of you, and that's why you're here.

The purpose of AALEH is to bring together everypony that can't stop staring at that amazing bootay we all know too well. We will get together, and sit in a circle, where you only know each other by your first names. Then we will pretend to cure you of your addiction by talking through it, when we all know that nobody actually wants to be cured.

So enjoy your stay here. There's snacks on the table over there, and there's some sweet R34 bookmarked on the back room computer in case you relapse.

If you have any questions, ask Princess Celestia. You probably didn't know that she has the worst addiction of anypony.

Try to have fun, now! You're only here for hour-long increments twice a week. And invite your friends! If they don't unfriend you and/or aren't disgusted at your suggestion, chances are they needed to be here!**

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TESTIMONIALS!

"I was addicted to a good flank. And now that I'm married, well, I still am. Thanks for nothing."
-Shining Armor, local sheriff

"My colleagues made fun of me because I wasn't a pony and I still was enticed by their luscious flanks. I killed all of them."
-Discord, local anarchist

"..."
-Angel, local woodland critter

"You have plump hindquarters? Yaks smash!"
-Rutherford, local marauder

"I have studied the anatomy of ponies for years, and I still find the flank the most fascinating part of my research. I have never heard of your program, though. Sorry!"
-Twilight Sparkle, local piece of plot

"I'm all for, like, free love and all, but I am getting some decidedly unrighteous vibes from this group. Seriously bumming me out right now."
-Tree Hugger, local High Times contributor

"Sister, what are you doing!?"
-Luna, local royalty

"Admirers of what now? Hoo-wee! Looks like ol' Trouble Shoes' luck is finally turnin' around!"
-Trouble Shoes, local emo

"Yeah, I like a rockin' plot! So what? Your little group sucks too!"
-Rainbow Dash, local layabout

"I get no greater pleasure in life than that which is derived from sucking the essence out of pathetic, love-struck weaklings. In a close second - turning into Celestia and pleasuring myself. You keep taking care of that bod, Celly."
-Chrysalis, local insect

"There's a cutie mark on her flank? Then she's old enough to spank!"
-Zecora, local witch doctor

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**Celestia and AALEH are not responsible for lost and/or disgusted friends.