Anchorman: The Legend of Ron Burgundy

here was a time, a time before Cable, when the local Anchorman reigned supreme. When people believed everything they heard on T.V. This was an age when only men were allowed to read the news. And in San Diego one Anchorman was more man than the rest. His name was Ron Burgundy. He was like a God walking amongst mere mortals. He had a voice that could make a wolverine purr, and suits so fine they made Sinatra look like a hobo. In other words, Ron Burgundy was the balls.

Well, you have all heard about me, Papa Burgundy, so the rest of my news team have written a mini-biography about themselves...

Brian:
People call me the Bry man; I'm the stylish one of the group. I know what you're asking yourself and the answer is yes. I have a nick name for my penis. Its called the Octagon, but I also nick named my testes - my left one is James Westfall and my right one is Doctor Kenneth Noisewater. You ladies play your cards right you just might get to meet the whole gang.

Champ:
Champ here. I'm all about havin' fun. You know, start a fire in someone's kitchen, maybe go to SeaWorld, take my pants off...Anyway ive become kinda famous for my signature catchphrase, whammy.

Brick:
I'm Brick Tamland. People seem to like me because I am polite and I am rarely late. I like to eat ice cream and I really enjoy a nice pair of slacks. Years later, a doctor will tell me that I have an I.Q. of 48 and am what some people call mentally retarded.