OH NO!!! Sources I will not name here have informed me that the STEAM ILLUMINATI ARE REAL!!!!! For almost 2000 years, since the dawn of online PC gaming, a shadow society has grown in the--you guessed it--shadow of steam. A mysterious group that covertly manipulates and controls all the gaming world. This hidden group, the STEAM ILLUMIFUCKINNAUGHTY is apparently close to acheving their ultimate goal--ONLINE WORLD DOMINATION!!!!!!!!!!!!!! We have reason to believe Barack Obama is a member. And the Taco Bell dog, Elvis, JFK, Fidel Castro, Jesus (ver 2.0(zombiejeezus)) are all suspected members too. Lock up your wife and kids, kill your pets now the humane way. THE STEAM ILLUMINATI are coming to get you. Stay tuned here for more details as the story unfolds. May god have mercy on us all, unless Allah is the real one, in which case we fucked. Smoke em if you got em :/