( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

One day I came home and was reading my favorite book "Eating Ass for
Begginers" when I finsihed it and noticed that on the last page it said 666.
I thought that was weird so I counted the pages and it turns out there were
only 420!!! I turned back to the page with 666 on it and felt thouroughly
spooked. I could taste the flacidity in the air which was weird cuz I was
rock hard only seconds earlier. Suddenly my autistic younger brother jumped
straight outta the book and started playing "Crawling in My Skin" on his
recorder. I told him please piss off but when he didn't I suddenly appeared
naked in front of my whole school!!! My brother was next to me and still
playing the song but he was naked too. Everyone started chanting "Carlos!
Carlos!" until I couldn't take it any more. I screamed, "Who the ♥♥♥♥ is
Carlos?" and ass soon as I said it I bolted upright in my bed. It had all
been a drem?!?!?! I thought wow that was a relief but then I knew something
wasn't right because I was lieing in a pool of ♥♥♥ and my onchinchin can't
do that yet. I decided to get my mom to take me to the doctors asap. A
couple weeks later I was at the doctor's. It took so long to get their cuz
everytime my mom would ask if I wanted to go I was busy playing with my hot
wheels cars and I told her to go die but this time she was gonna put me up
for adoption again so I went. Anyway I went to the doctor's office and after
a pretty damn rough groping of these soon to be hairy nuts he told me to
pull my pants up and sit the ♥♥♥♥ down. He said he had some bad news for
me. He said I had terrets so from now on I could only eat "kosher" foods.
I said, "wtf ♥♥♥♥♥" and he told me "♥♥♥♥ off and I'm only twelve." Then I
realized he was still playing with my balls through my pants and I woke up
in my bed again except this time I was getting my ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥ by a turtle.
I said, "gtfo rapheal headass ♥♥♥♥♥." He looked up at me and in that moment
I realized that was the face of my true father. He said, "shawty I don't
mind." And then I woke up in my bed again. This time everything was normal
except I was clutching my life alert like a ♥♥♥♥♥ who needs it and I really
did have terrets. Then I realized the past few weeks of my life had all been
a dream!!! I said "♥♥♥♥ it" and went to the bathroom but I couldn't get the
pill bottle open. Then I realized I still had a couple of hot wheels in real
life and I had to take care of my autistic brother and my mom. I decided I
would kill myself after I got these ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥ off my ♥♥♥♥ and I would do it by
laying in the middle of the street as a final homage the hotwheels I love so
much.