Hello, followers.

As your pope, I am ashamed to admit that I have posted this announcement 10 days late.

It has recently come to my attention that the birth of our savior, Wario, was 2 years ago.
It was in this very sacred month two years ago that Wario blessed us with his presence and decided to save the human race from near extinction.

As your pope, i'm happy to be able to celebrate the comming of 2 WCE with you all.

Amen.

As your pope, it has recently come to my attention that a certain Valve video-game, commonly known as 'Defense Fort 2', has added the red hat of an opposing religion to ours, Marioism.

I utterly detest this decision of theirs, as I know many of you do, but this could be an opportunity to spread the word of Wariosim.
This is our chance to spread the word of Warioism. Taint the hat in yellow paint and spread the word of our church and our mission. This is our big chance.

Remember to spread the word by inviting your fellow friends and work colleagues, and it is also reminded that you should be praying for Wario every day.

Amen.

It has been one year since the opening of this church and the birth of our savior, Wario.

Let us pray to Wario on this holy day for his forgiveness and for the hope that he provides to us every day.
Every year from now on will be known as a WCE. (Wario's Current Era)

The 16th of July is now the turnover of each new year. Mark on your calenders that it is now the year 1 WCE.

Amen, and may Wario bless you all.

As the pope of this church, I feel that we need to spread the message that our savior, Wario, has returned.
Invite your friends so we can expose more people to the holiness of Wario's garlic.

All followers, check under your pillows tonight. Wario will send you a free clove of garlic. :^ )

Amen.

Don't forget to have your garlic bread and wine on Waaristmas day to remember the sacrifices that Wario gave to us all.

Amen.