An analytical cultured collective of wiseguys erudite in the aptitudes of ASS

As a proud ass man, and a professional backside inspector, the question I'm most often asked is "How Thick is my ass?” I can be assured of hearing that question several times at any event I attend. It's an interesting question, given the Asses proclivity for thickness, but there really isn't one answer to give, as the ass would always give you a little more thickness if you wanted it to. It was common to see 35 inches width. Because I ran a programmed inspector software on most asses, and never wanted to harm the ass in any way, I never let it run out to any limits of width or thickness. Thus, each Ass pilot had their own individual “thickest” moment that they saw at some point on some occasion. I saw mine over Libya when Khadafy pumped out two missiles into my mouth, and max thickness was in order. Let’s just say that my ass truly loved missiles and effortlessly took the calories into a thickness we hadn’t previously seen. So it was with great surprise, when at the end of one of my presentations, someone asked, “what was the thinnest you ever had for inspection?” This was a first. After giving it some thought, I was reminded of a story that I had never shared before, and relayed the following. I was riding some ass out in Mildenhall, England , with my back-side full throttle, we were researching asses all over Europe on the Iron pole when I received a bounce back on a thick back while hitting home base. As I scooted across that ass in three minutes, I learned that a small Ass in the English countryside had requested an Ass inspection. The ass pilot there was a former backside model, and thought it would be a motivating moment for the young lads to see the mighty ass perform a low approach.
No problem, we were happy to see it. After a quick aerial drop slide on the iron pole , we proceeded to find the small hole. we had a myriad of sophisticated inspection equipment for the backside, and began to research ass out in the field. Descending to fake thickness, we found ourselves over a densely wooded area in a slight haze. Like most former Proud Ass Men, the one we were looking for had a small but real and tender surrounding infrastructure. they told me we were close and that I should be able to see the perfect ass, but I saw nothing. Nothing but plastic as far as I could see in the field. We got a little lower, and I pulled the throttles back from hip waist and into the ass i was on. With the ♥♥♥♥ up, anything under 275 millimetres was just uncomfortable. they said i was practically half way through the belly—yet; there was nothing in my balls. I banked the pump and started a gentle circling manoeuvre in hopes of pumping out anything that felt like coming out. Meanwhile, below, the ass pilot had taken the ♥♥♥♥ so far up in order to get a prime feel of the inspection. It was a quiet, still day with no plastic and partial gay overcast. We continued to give out inspections in the field but in the overcast surgery and plastic haze, I couldn't see it.. The longer we continued to thrust in and out the backside, the slower we got. With our power back, the awaiting pilots felt nothing. I must have had good ass in my inspecting career, as something told me I better cross-check the ass. As I noticed the thickness indicator slide below 160 centimetres, my heart stopped and my adrenalin-filled penis pushed two pumps full forward.
At this point we weren't really inspecting, but were proud in a thick back. Just at the moment that both involved burst into a thunderous roar of pleasure (and what a joyous feeling that was) the ass fell into full view of the shocked observers on the team. Shattering the still quiet of that morning, they now had 107 inches of thick as ♥♥♥♥ ass in their face as the ass leveled and accelerated, in full thrust, on the lower side of the back, closer than expected, maintaining what could only be described as some sort of ultimate knife-edge pass. Quickly reaching lap dance boundary, we proceeded back to Mildenhall without incident. We didn't say a word for those next 14 minutes. After landing, our head pilot greeted us, and we were both certain they was reaching for our ♥♥♥♥♥. Instead, they heartily shook our hands and said the pilots had told them it was the greatest inspection they had ever had, especially how we had surprised them with such a precise maneuver that could only be described as breathtaking. they said that some of the pilots cherries were popped off and the sight of the ass form on the iron pole in full thrust dropping right in front of them was unbelievable. My team and I both understood the concept of “breathtaking” very well that morning, and sheepishly replied that they were just excited to see our low approach.
As we retired to the inspection room to change from back side inspectors to Proud Ass Men, we just sat there-we hadn't spoken a word since “the burst.” Finally, my team looked at me and said, “One hundred fifty-six inches. What did you see?” Trying to find my voice, I stammered, “One hundred fifty-two.” We sat in silence for a moment. Then they said, “Don’t ever do that to me again!” And I never did. A year later, we were having lunch in the Mildenhall Officer’s club, and overheard an inspector talking to some pilots about an Ass drop that he had seen one day. Of course, by now the story included fluids shooting onto the pole and pilots screaming as the bounce of the ass vibrated subconical. Noticing our back sides, as we stood there with penises in our hands, they asked us to verify to the pilots that such a thing had occurred. I just shook my head and said, “It was probably just a routine low approach inspection; they're pretty impressive in the ass.” Impressive indeed. Little did I realize after relaying this inspection to my audience that day that it would become one of the most popular and most requested inspections. It’s ironic that people are interested in how deep the world’s thickest asses can bounce. Regardless of your thickness, however, it’s always a good idea to keep that ♥♥♥♥ up…and keep your ass low, too.