When everything is set up just right, then it ♥♥♥♥♥ up and everything just slowly goes to ♥♥♥♥ only to end in an expasm of pure bladder so immensly enormous you start to question if life could just stop being such a stinky ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥ ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥ for just a ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥ second?

Yeah well I am not just saying that out of the blue to get a the-more-you-know experience, because that's just not how this bullshite works now does it you tosser?

I wanted to play some GTA Online with a friend, pretty nice and everything, asked him if he's interested, got the Discord set up, bought some Mountain Dew, did everything a bit earlier to be ready at the set time and all that ♥♥♥♥♥, quite some work done for a letdown bigger than if the iceberg that Titanic hit was made out of ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥ cardboard
But I digress

When he connected to the Discord, it was only a matter of time until GTA would load and we would play and have jolly good fun, right?

You probably would agree if I hadn't mentioned life being a smelly clitsack some time before, now wouldn't you?

So of course something or someone decided to ♥♥♥♥ up and the game loaded for 25 ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥ minutes only to then greet me with a pleased with itself "connection timed out" and push me over to play some singleplayer I am less interested than an ape is interested in plastic surgery

So I tried to reconnect and after after 20 more minutes and heavy usage of all three Ctrl Alt and Delete buttons in this exact order, I was finally able to start playing

Then it took only 5 minutes for my friend to join my game and we could start

But of course there was a fat bloke from somewhere in Belarus who had a bad day and a minigun, so he decided to ruin all the fun we could possibly want to have

Then after another 10 minutes of murdering and being murdered by the abovementioned fat bloke from a place in Eastern Europe we decided to get in a random car and drive off into the sunset

Or at least that's what I assume would happen if my game didn't crash the second I entered said automobile


♥♥♥♥ that