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Can't, I work here.
2. Calmly and politely tell the mother to control her kids. I know you'd rather insult them, but that won't get you any good results.
3. You could also just stare at them until they notice, shake your head, then calmy change a seat. If that's allowed.
4. You could tell them to shut the f*ck up.
5. In an extreme situation, a machete will do.
I honestly don't want to start a scene, but if it gets that bad, I'll grow a pair and do it.
Luckily for me, tickets are free.