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Eleventy

Pancakes

Heap Big Bird should be a programmers screen name.
Along with Oscar the Stack Pointer and Burt and Endian.

5, just one of them is shot (possibly dead. Maybe pining for the fjiords.)

You may want to try validating the game cache instead of uninstalling. It saves tons of time and downloading.

If you want to remove the game without having to download all the updates first try this:
Once the game update is paused (and maybe you don't feel like that step) Right click in the library and pick "Delete local conent". That cancels the install and effectively does an uninstall.

One way to solve this is to open-source the VAC rules engine entries (and maybe not neccesarily the raw source code). Of course people would find loopholes, but then more honerable people would make suggestions on how to plug them. In the end the community would be the quickest way to validate that VAC is always right and never has false positives, while destorying any fool that would try to violate it.
Contingent on Valve letting us mere mortals know anything about VAC that they haven't already vaguely stated.

Leakage

What does it has in its pocketses?

Have some WinE.
Download the Steam for Windows installer, run winefile and double-click on steaminstall.msi
Won't run as fast, but it will try to pretend its on windows as much as possible and doesn't require that you join/enable the beta.
Halfe-Life 1 plays perfectly... TF2... not so much, but it tries. Your mileage may vary.