My favorite cliche is how armor works with females in RPGs. It's been forever and they still haven't fixed it.

You know how non-gamer friends, family, and the media assume every game is about scoring points while getting through the levels? Because these people obviously haven't even seen a video game in the past 30 years. And seeing people like that talk about games is HILARIOUS for me.

The Four-Man Squad, something that has become (it seems) nearly ubiquitous in FPS games.

Four-Man Squads are invariably sent in full-on assaults against enemy forces that are often several hundred times the size of the squad itself. The squad usually gets scant support from the rest of the army, likely because the rest of the army's too busy running into walls and fragging each other to do anything that might be mistaken for fighting the war. Predictably, the Four-Man Squad is often the only unit in the army that achieves any victories without having a 6 to 1 numerical superiority over the enemy, and even then there's usually only one or two guys within the squad whose combat skills are worth what it cost to train and supply them. Four-Man Squads almost always include three guys who carry the same weapons throughout the entire war and one guy (usually the squad's most proficient shooter) who picks up and uses whatever he damn well pleases as the war progresses. Though many Four-Man Squads used to have dedicated snipers, this practice has been abandoned lately due to increased instances of enemy troops leaving sniper rifles and plenty of ammo for them in unguarded spots overlooking their outposts.

Four-Man Squads possess a few distinct advantages over the rest of the army, one of them being their collective ability to fully heal gunshot wounds, broken bones, ruptured organs and mangled limbs, simply by avoiding further injury for 7 consecutive seconds. As you might imagine, this useful yet unexplained trait, along with the enemy's tendency to leave crates containing every concievable kind of ammo lying around the battlefield, enables the Four-Man Squad to survive and repel virtually all manner of enemy attacks, such as infantry assaults, sniper ambushes, grenade spam, artillery barrages, shotgun blasts from 20 feet away, MOABs, German tanks half the size of a Wal-Mart, Russian Bear Cavalry, Macedonian Phalanx charges, and basically anything short of those tactical nukes that COD players loved to keep count of on their gamer profiles. Overall, the Four-Man Squad constitutes a misnomer, since a squad is actually supposed to have 9 or 10 men; a more proper designation would have been fireteam.

Originally posted by SlaughterMcKill:

The Four-Man Squad, something that has become (it seems) nearly ubiquitous in FPS games.

Four-Man Squads are invariably sent in full-on assaults against enemy forces that are often several hundred times the size of the squad itself. The squad usually gets scant support from the rest of the army, likely because the rest of the army's too busy running into walls and fragging each other to do anything that might be mistaken for fighting the war. Predictably, the Four-Man Squad is often the only unit in the army that achieves any victories without having a 6 to 1 numerical superiority over the enemy, and even then there's usually only one or two guys within the squad whose combat skills are worth what it cost to train and supply them. Four-Man Squads almost always include three guys who carry the same weapons throughout the entire war and one guy (usually the squad's most proficient shooter) who picks up and uses whatever he damn well pleases as the war progresses. Though many Four-Man Squads used to have dedicated snipers, this practice has been abandoned lately due to increased instances of enemy troops leaving sniper rifles and plenty of ammo for them in unguarded spots overlooking their outposts.

Four-Man Squads possess a few distinct advantages over the rest of the army, one of them being their collective ability to fully heal gunshot wounds, broken bones, ruptured organs and mangled limbs, simply by avoiding further injury for 7 consecutive seconds. As you might imagine, this useful yet unexplained trait, along with the enemy's tendency to leave crates containing every concievable kind of ammo lying around the battlefield, enables the Four-Man Squad to survive and repel virtually all manner of enemy attacks, such as infantry assaults, sniper ambushes, grenade spam, artillery barrages, shotgun blasts from 20 feet away, MOABs, German tanks half the size of a Wal-Mart, Russian Bear Cavalry, Macedonian Phalanx charges, and basically anything short of those tactical nukes that COD players loved to keep count of on their gamer profiles. Overall, the Four-Man Squad constitutes a misnomer, since a squad is actually supposed to have 9 or 10 men; a more proper designation would have been fireteam.

deep, man....deep...

Crates[www.oldmanmurray.com].

Originally posted by GreenBean:

My favorite cliche is how armor works with females in RPGs. It's been forever and they still haven't fixed it.

You mean how the male version is a big nuclear-powered ultra armor that not even a fart could escape, while the female version is a steel bikini and a string of metal pulled up her buttcrack? Agreed *rolls eyes*

Originally posted by kiwinarwhal:

deep, man....deep...

That masterpiece spent over two and a half years confined to a text document on my computer until I found this thread. :D

With that out of the way, I love how the Desert Eagle repeatedly finds its way into modern-themed military shooters when, from what I've read, no modern military or police force in the world has adopted it.

Originally posted by GreenBean:

My favorite cliche is how armor works with females in RPGs. It's been forever and they still haven't fixed it.

Originally posted by Urdnot Shepard:

Originally posted by GreenBean:

My favorite cliche is how armor works with females in RPGs. It's been forever and they still haven't fixed it.

as long as you only get attacked in your crotch, shoulders, feet and hands.. you're ok

Originally posted by GreenBean:

My favorite cliche is how armor works with females in RPGs. It's been forever and they still haven't fixed it.

Sexy female armor is best armor

Originally posted by Gus the Crocodile:

Crates[www.oldmanmurray.com].

Chests. Also exploding barrels.

Originally posted by Vampyre:

Originally posted by GreenBean:

My favorite cliche is how armor works with females in RPGs. It's been forever and they still haven't fixed it.

You mean how the male version is a big nuclear-powered ultra armor that not even a fart could escape, while the female version is a steel bikini and a string of metal pulled up her buttcrack? Agreed *rolls eyes*

Is there no sense of reality here?

Originally posted by Cornflakes:

Originally posted by Gus the Crocodile:

Crates[www.oldmanmurray.com].

Chests. Also exploding barrels.

Every chest is a mimic. Unless proven otherwise.

Originally posted by Negative_N:

Every chest is a mimic. Unless proven otherwise.

This^
Oh wait, that's unoriginal in a topic of unoriginality.

Ok, how about the crate that you have to push, but you can only move it vertically or horizantaly, not diagonally, and you can't pick it up, even if it's just a cardboard box? Never really understood that.

Originally posted by Lunacinda:

Originally posted by GreenBean:

My favorite cliche is how armor works with females in RPGs. It's been forever and they still haven't fixed it.

You mean how the male version is a big nuclear-powered ultra armor that not even a fart could escape, while the female version is a steel bikini and a string of metal pulled up her buttcrack? Agreed *rolls eyes*

I agree, there should at least be a vent for the gas to escape from.