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I have the exact opposite opinion: small communities are much more toxic because they can be extremely elitist. Their forums may seem cleaner, but only because they kick out anyone who doesn't conform to the general opinion or is simply unpopular. So the entire community consists of the admin's circle of close friends.
Unless the owners are truly toxic, I am fine with groups “curating” who can be a part of it. It prevents the group from losing its identity and feel. And likewise, big groups are not immune to toxicity- for instance OT. OT is huge, and drives out most of the kind users because this space is relatively hostile. Thus, given the quality if users, it’s the reason I have no interest offering spaces that said users would not improve with their presence.