Both sides of my family were like that, and I've seen all the misery and missed opportunities this sort of toxic pride produces.

Grudges are a burden. Pick up too many of them or for too long, and you end up breaking your own back.

I think you are making the point tbh.

The problem with grudges is that they are something that you hang onto mentally— a form of negative mental baggage. For me, letting go of a grudge isn’t really say “forgive the person/thing responsible”. It’s more a “put that event far in the back of your mind and move on.” In essence, don’t let that grudge consume you. For example I cutoff ties with someone. I could think about what they did constantly, but instead I don’t think about them at all, and I am indifferent to their plight/life. It is a grudge but essentially one I have let go of emotionally. They simply have ceased to exist.

The only other case might be if a person redeems themselves, then a grudge can truly be let go. Or if the grudge no longer makes sense, it should be let go. But for most grudges, it is best to move on— not forgetting it sure— but emotionally recovering from it and not focus on it.

Sure bat we know you should have killed Joker sooner, the clown shouldn't have been turning Gotham into a circus to the point even common criminals started to use clown-masks, personalized clown guns and improv clown shows for robberies

Also ask Bill Finger, Bob Kane and Jerry Robinson why doesn't Joker use a clown car, it at least as to be in Joker's car collection, cmon !

The only thoughts in my brain are my thoughts.

If you let things stay in your system they pollute you as a person making you more miserable as a way of being.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6D9vAItORgE

You should not let grudges eat away at you hence the 'letting go'...Honestly, you should just never harbor grudges...They are giant sources of stress...If someone does you wrong, it is in your best interest to learn from that wrong and move on...That being said, it should only ever be a matter of avoidance and removal of trust...Those can be enacted and lived with, on a stress free level...

so you are telling me you wanna hold grudges for what reason? what does that do but create more grudges? and makes the world a worse place? not to mention letting things go does wonders for your mental health, people always say that i know but its extremely true

OP you need to adopt dormant grudges. Someone did you wrong, you just ignore them.
Depending on who and where they are, that may be all that is necessary. If they get right in your face somehow, that's when you wake your grudge up and FLAME ON!😮

Also never forget, if a grudge isn't worth holding for life, why bother to hold it at all?

Clinging to the past and dwelling on negative experiences can lead you to either worsen a problem or perceive it as more serious than it really is. Always forgive your enemies; nothing annoys them so much.

If you let them go, they might run amok!

Originally posted by Grendalcat:

OP you need to adopt dormant grudges. Someone did you wrong, you just ignore them.
Depending on who and where they are, that may be all that is necessary. If they get right in your face somehow, that's when you wake your grudge up and FLAME ON!😮

Good advice; value your energy and shun them (with loud silence). I like your philosophy of "dormant grudges", as it is wiser to exercise patience and tempered recognition towards an act of transgression—yet never servile tolerance.

Be ready to forgive, but never forget, and never too often should you forgive. It is better to neglect/pity them and cut their existence out of your life: no negotiations, no emotional exchange, no time-wasting. Scum deserve excommunication, not an honour duel.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lPP83MTlnRo

Turn leaden grudges into gold

It gets tiring very quickly and you cant stay mad forever, eventually you will let things go