I am so bad at games, I make scrubs look like pros.

And I have fun doing it.

Noob Pyromancer. Now, I haven't had the pleasure of encountering him personally but I've seen the footage. He didn't chug no estussy flask either. A true noob.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CG7qPd4OrEw

someone couldnt clutch a 1v5

depends on if I'm sober or not.. .. results tend to vary

A match Age of Mythology: Extended Edition: Odin (me) vs Zeus (him). He bolted one of my ravens....

Long time ago in UT'99 lets say he was excellent cannon fodder Never seen him since online

That has to be me.
I've never been able to rise above 'sitting duck' league.

On several separate occasions, in different multiplayer fps games, I have seen guys enter a server, and like, look around really clumsily. Like, you will run circles arond them, and they like, turn really slowly and cant catch you in crosshair. Its as if someone plays a videogame for the first time, or, my best guess is - maybe its someone coming from a console and trying to play an fps with a controller?