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Still no event.
That's because there is no Event running right now. As per the first line of the original post, these steps only work if there is an Event running at the moment and it's not showing up.
The next Event is the Goblin Invasion Event, which will start on July 26th, 2021 at 12.01 PM UTC and will end on July 30th, 2021 at 6.59 PM UTC.
Well, [bleep]. I thought the Goblin Invasion started on 7/22. Oops.
I've restarted the game/steam; version is up to date; etc. Still gets "timed out" during start up.
Even tried loading the game on Kongregrate - it times out there too!
If it's timing out to the Cloud, chances are it's your internet connection. Even a slight hiccup in it will cause the Cloud connection to time out or not happen.