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Caffveeine has Team Fortress 2

2 Aug @ 11:47am

TF2: Discussion Update (Parody)

Yes you heard it right, this is a post about the update everyone needs and asked for in the discussions Here is the TF2 DISCUSSION UPDATE

> Removed the Windows support from the game

> Class Changes
-Removed; the Sniper class
-Removed; the Pyro class
-Added; the Sikibidi Toilet as the 10th(8th) class
-Buffed the Spy; +25 Max Health +50% Walking Speed
-Removed; the Spy class

> Added a new taunt
The Lovely Kiss
-An all class kissing taunt for all the 9(6) Mercs, to represent LGBT+Q in TF2

> Added new maps
ctf_gaybar
cp_fortress
pl_windows
pass_useless

> Removed the Linux support from the game

> Added new cosmetics
-Palestenian and Isrealian (Or however you spell those) flags as a wearable badges
-SCP level 3 card as a wearable badge
-Bikini...
-Cat Ears

> New Rules;
-No selling items on the internet
-No selling funny stuff (You know what is it)
-No talking during the match
-Removed the Autobalance
-Racist people now have %250 Chance of Self-Explosion

> Removed taunts
-Texan Trick Shot
Being A P2W item
-Bear Hug
Promoting Friendly Griefers

> Redesigned a Taunt
-Flying Colours; Now has LGBT+Q flags instead of the team flags.

> Added a new option
-Diffcuilty Mode; Hard, Normal, Easy

> Removed the couching system from the game

> Weapon based changes
-Nerfed the Righteous Bison; -25% Damage Penalty
-Nerfed the Ullapool Caber; +200% Self-Damage Force
-Buffed the Ambassador; Can random crit

> Bing Soy is no more fake

>New weapons
-The Helmet
An all class secondary to prevent headshot for a signle time and can only obtained back again from resupply locks

-The Backcapper (Secondary)
Cauptures a locked point
-Limited to just be able to cap only %50 of the point
-Can not capture any active point

-The Pomson 12000
Just a reskin for Pomson 6000

> Hot and single ready 2...what the*

>Team Fortress 2 is now T rated

>Added the 2025 Summer Update

>Added a new craft recipe;
-Team Fortress 2 Premium Access

>Banned Windows 11 Users

>It is confirmed that Pyro isn't an femboy actually

>The Heavy is now back alive

>Go to the official wiki, and then go to the main page, then press these buttons in order:
Up,Up,Down,Down,Left,Right,Left,Right,B,A,Enter

>Added a new Gaymode
-It's called gay marriage mode. in gay marriage mode you get gay married to your teammates and basically when you're gay married you get buffs to health and damage and damage resistance or something and in order to win you have to destroy the enemy team's gay marriage (gay divorce) while preserving your team's gay marriage

>Added Hawk Tuah representation in TF2 (I don't know what is it and how)

>Added K-POP representation in TF2

>Bug fixes;
tr_walkway is now playable

>Removed The Quick Play

AND FINNALY!!!!!

>ADDED THE QUICK PLAY!!

After Note:

This post is just an Parody, nothing in this Post is meant to be harmful to any kind of community and doesn't contain any official facts. This post is not an official TF2 update and is not meant to look like that as well. As I said this just a Parody, a joke about the current state of TF2 Discussions. Hope it made you smile because I hated it. PLEASE DON'T HURT MY ACCOUNT VALVE THIS IS JUST A SILLY JOKE! Also some of the stuff you see above is not fully originial, as i said i made this just with Discussions stuff so this is like our VERY OWN tf2 update expect the New Game Rules, most of them was the ones i tought about but I'm included in this discussion too so

After Note 2:

This is also meant to mean something, It's telling you to be realistic when opening a discussion post. Really consider "if the thing I'm asking for has the chance of happening." And do research. like me reading every single thread (104) to make this post fully real..but anyways you get the point. The reason i did with this mixed with jokes is i never liked harsh stuff so i decided best way to explain this mixed with jokes anyways here is my very own and original hashtag #STF2D (Save TF2 Discussions.)... Look i care about this game okay? I wasted my 1860 hours with this pixels and its sad to see a great game like TF2's Discussions...well...Horrible we can say i guess? Anyways enough of this hero role-play like who even cares about TF2 Discussions lol goodbye.

Thanks. I hated it

* Check out Page 72 and 73

Last edited by Caffveeine; 3 Aug @ 4:11am

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Click here to jump to that post.

Originally posted by Zumo Nacho INC:

Originally posted by Caffveeine:
Really consider "if the thing I'm asking for has the chance of happening." And do research.

My brother in Christ, the nutjobs that reside here could make a thousand posts about killwindows a day, so goes the same for lgbtq and friendly slander stuff, but we can assure you that there is no way in hell ANYTHING of what they are saying would ever be considered for 2 reasons:

1. Any sane developer for this game thats left that takes the time to actually read the posts would quickly realize its all random bullcrap with no real substance for arguments whatsoever aside from repetition from easibly trackable alt accounts.

2. All the stuff that those posts say are EXCLUSIVELY seen only in this forum. Its all a massive inside joke cause otherwise they would be posting this stuff in other sites. Wich i dont doubt they would if they had the chance, but the thing is that its easier here since actual moderation is straight up non-existent and easibly exploitable.

Also, related to the parody post, good thing that you did is that you made it clear that this is a joke. And anothee good thing you could do is not drag it for fricking months, or years at this point. Yall could learn something from this guy.

TLDR: You have nothing to worry about, these mfs dont have any power over anything. They are just annoying.

< >

Showing 1-15 of 31 comments

RedReimu

2 Aug @ 11:52am

Why didn’t you add Mario as the 10th class?

Tutu 💚™❤️ ~^^) has Team Fortress 2

2 Aug @ 12:01pm

Excellent!

nava

2 Aug @ 12:03pm

wheres the gay mode??? hello valve support

Fireschlong #2Broke4MannUp has Team Fortress 2

2 Aug @ 12:17pm

Originally posted by Caffveeine:
>Added Hawk Tuah representation in TF2 (I don't know what is it and how)

I can tell you what it is. It's a martial art, like Kung Fu or Muay Thai.

Jahn

2 Aug @ 1:59pm

Originally posted by nava:
wheres the gay mode??? hello valve support

You unlock it after finding the Trump easter egg at cp_epsteinisland

Mr_Egg

2 Aug @ 2:47pm

Originally posted by Caffveeine:
> Class Changes
-Removed; the Sniper class
-Removed; the Pyro class
-Added; the Sikibidi Toilet as the 10th(8th) class
-Buffed the Spy; +25 Max Health +50% Walking Speed
-Removed; the Spy class

wait a min? this makes no sense! then why did you buff spy even if you want to remove him?

and why do you people hate pyro so much.

Fireschlong #2Broke4MannUp has Team Fortress 2

2 Aug @ 3:29pm

Originally posted by Mr_Egg:
Originally posted by Caffveeine:
> Class Changes
-Removed; the Sniper class
-Removed; the Pyro class
-Added; the Sikibidi Toilet as the 10th(8th) class
-Buffed the Spy; +25 Max Health +50% Walking Speed
-Removed; the Spy class

wait a min? this makes no sense! then why did you buff spy even if you want to remove him?

So people can't say that Spy was removed because he was weak. Evidently, he wasn't, as seen by his stats.

Last edited by Fireschlong #2Broke4MannUp; 2 Aug @ 4:27pm

Saul Goodman has Team Fortress 2

2 Aug @ 3:32pm

I think shooting is overpowered, now all classes can use only melee weapons

Caffveeine has Team Fortress 2

2 Aug @ 9:45pm

Originally posted by Mr_Egg:
Originally posted by Caffveeine:
> Class Changes
-Removed; the Sniper class
-Removed; the Pyro class
-Added; the Sikibidi Toilet as the 10th(8th) class
-Buffed the Spy; +25 Max Health +50% Walking Speed
-Removed; the Spy class

wait a min? this makes no sense! then why did you buff spy even if you want to remove him?

and why do you people hate pyro so much.

As i said i made this update with everyone's toughts, meaning there was some people saying SPy was weak, as well as some people saying Spy was over powered and broken

I also main Pyro

Last edited by Caffveeine; 2 Aug @ 9:50pm

[PMC] Portable Merc Collector has Team Fortress 2

2 Aug @ 10:40pm

Now THIS is the TF2 rectified we need!

#10

krkr128

3 Aug @ 12:20am

all i wish for august is the GRU getting buffed

#11

ALWAYS GOON has Team Fortress 2

3 Aug @ 12:32am

You forgot to remove the balloonicorn related items in order to stop Gummy Gummy Gumdrops' virus.

#12

The author of this thread has indicated that this post answers the original topic.

Zumo Nacho INC has Team Fortress 2

3 Aug @ 12:39am

Originally posted by Caffveeine:
Really consider "if the thing I'm asking for has the chance of happening." And do research.

Last edited by Zumo Nacho INC; 3 Aug @ 12:42am

#13

Caffveeine has Team Fortress 2

3 Aug @ 3:49am

Originally posted by god sux:
You forgot to remove the balloonicorn related items in order to stop Gummy Gummy Gumdrops' virus.

I'm sorry it was hard to check out all 104 pages marking it a whooping 1.549 Posts to check. To be honest I'm not sane enough to check total of 1.549 Post + Comments. or if i would have any sanity left in me if i do check all of those Posts. So i just included most standing out ones. I'm sorry i think gummgy gummy gumdrops' is going to break this update

Last edited by Caffveeine; 3 Aug @ 3:52am

#14