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Oh...Sir! The Insult Simulator

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Oh...Sir! The Insult Simulator > Guides > OldGoldie's Guides
243 ratings
Unlock Father, Serious Sam & More!
By OldGoldie
Note this guide is a work in progress! Please comment how you unlocked certain characters to help find out exactly how to unlock them.
This is a simple tutorial on how to unlock each character!
For character weaknesses, the things in bold are examples of what triggers the weakness.
   
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Created by
OldGoldie
Offline
Category: Characters, Secrets, Walkthroughs
Languages: English
Posted
Updated
30 Oct, 2016 @ 10:41pm
26 Jan, 2017 @ 9:13pm
17,707 Unique Visitors
276 Current Favorites
Guide Index
Overview
Unlocking Nigel H. 
Unlocking Lo Wang 
Unlocking Grisha 
Unlocking Father 
Unlocking Serious Sam 
Unlocking Afterlife Scenario 
Unlocking ER Scenario 
End 
Comments
Unlocking Nigel H.
To unlock Nigel, win tournament mode.
Weakness: Size and appearence.
Anything insulting his size or appearence. Things like:
Your mother is getting fat
Your face is silly

Things like Your sense of style and Your hat do not trigger this I believe.
Unlocking Lo Wang
To unlock Lo Wang, you must complete the Tournament mode without losing an argument.
Weakness: Being weak
Things like:
A frightened schoolboy is you
Your math teacher was defeated by a hamster
Unlocking Grisha
To unlock grisha, complete tournament twice?
Weakness: Russia and origin
Things like:
Your country is rude
Your father was born in your house

is not a part of Europe does not trigger this.
Unlocking Father
To unlock Father, you must complete the Tournament mode on 5 different characters. Also unlocks the secret character achievement.

Weakness: Anything family
Things like:
Your mother and your sister are ugly
Some dog dances like your father

To compensate for the weakness, Father has extra health compared to other characters.
Unlocking Serious Sam
CURRENT METHOD UNKNOWN: Update note reads (Serious Sam is a bit harder to unlock now: The ease of unlocking him was previously a result of a bug)
Possibly get a 20-50+ insult in a PVP match.
Your father has bum cancer
The Nazi's dance like you
serious stuff bro
Unlocking Afterlife Scenario
To unlock Afterlife, you must complete the Tournament mode as Father.
Unlocking ER Scenario
To unlock ER, you must complete the Tournament with 3 different characters
End
That's it. If I got anything wrong, please comment below and I will fix it!
221 Comments
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Voltaro 9 Sep @ 6:43am 
Update for any players playing in 2025 (like me). I just unlocked both Serious Sam and Postal Dude and this is how i did it.

Serious Sam - Play a couple of pvp matches (local/couch works too aside of Online) and you have to select 'by the lake'. Win as Protagonist 1, doesn't matter if the protagonist goes first or second or starts the conversation or not. Just make sure the protagonist 1 insult reaches 20+ (like the guide above. Basically make it as long as possible to reach this). Doing this a couple of times will eventually unlock Serious Sam.

Postal Dude - Play a match as Serious Sam as protagonist 1. That's it.

Hope this helps!
lechkingofdead 4 Jun @ 12:49am 
late age fact, if ya want serious sam just get a friend to get the game of their own and fight that way. i got the monster combo and sam that way. (and HOLY CROW was it funny)
melgamer1 29 Dec, 2024 @ 7:00pm 
i did a touche on grisha for not being part of europe
Freakin' Unbelievable 3 Jul, 2024 @ 10:42am 
Serious Sam is unlocked by dealing about 30 damage or more in a single insult in an online match
Dani. 7 Feb, 2024 @ 9:14am 
@Garret Animations You can do it on local multiplayer
76561199389239300 10 Aug, 2023 @ 5:45pm 
well i cant find anyone on online :(
Vincey Vinzetti 8 Jul, 2023 @ 7:29pm 
@RonaldReaganGaming Same here, kept playing on couch multiplayer mainly for achievement hunting and got both of them. I guess it doesn't if its online or local you just have to play multiplayer a lot.
Feafef 5 May, 2023 @ 6:53pm 
@tarasrex win 4 online matches
LuminaryPrism 14 Jan, 2023 @ 1:48pm 
@TarasRex I was playing a friend online for a few games and randomly unlocked him, so that may help but idk
TarasRex 4 Oct, 2022 @ 5:46am 
What about the Postal Dude? How to unlock him?