He was sitting by the bar , wearing a long coat and an ushanka in the middle of the summer , he didin't care , he never gave a ♥♥♥♥ , and thats what makes him so Smexy.

His name was Jackal ,he known a name like that that doesn't even exist but as i said , he didin't give a ♥♥♥♥ .

He was drinking Vodka mixed with Mountain Dew , gently , like his Grandpa Bob taught him.
And Bob was the reason why our smexy hero is here.
Bob died two minutes ago , our hero can't get over it , he was very sensitive for Bob , Bob taught him everything , how to talk , sit , masturbate , and he learned , while looking smexy of course.

Then Bob DIED

And everything died like nature durning winter , his wife left him , his kids left him , his family left him , his left testicle left him , even Shrek said GET OUT MAH SWAMP .

Our hero was alone , a smexy loner in the darkness of this brutal and unforgiving world .
But ...

The Bar doors open , a man with a big blonde beard wearing a yellow tank top and pink shorts comes in , our hero looks at him and he realizes.

Its his long lost friend

And his name was ........
Munkih

END OF CHAPTER ONE